News Flash: The greatest invention by modern man is the non-circular pencil. Imagine folks, you're sitting at your desk, writing down a memo, only to be interrupted by the constant fact that your pencil keeps rolling off your desk and falling three feet to the ground. Not only is this a pain in the ass, but in the long run could cause major back problems because you keep having to bend over to pick up your writing utensil. Well, no longer, no more! With the invention of the the non-circular pencil, this is no longer possible. And it gets better! We tried a square pencil but, that's uncomfortable in the ol' fingers. So what did we do you ask? We invented the octagon shaped pencil! Close enough to a circle to not cause blisters, and far enough away from a square to still be comfortable. This should advance the invention of the light bulb by at least a minute and a half, now that Mr. Franklin won't keep losing that damn pencil. Anyway, stay tuned for more, Greatest Damn Inventions Ever!